Thanks Maritimer. I have to decide weather I should move back into the house until she finalizes the divorce or if I should stay at my apartment. Not sure I want to live with her for the next 6 months until the house sells. Any thoughts out there.
Bluedown...I am right there with you in my sitch. W has so emotionally and physically detached it isnt funny. We can have decent conversations other than the M that are pretty pleasant, and we both do little favors for eachother (she brought me back a hoagie for dinner tonight which was unexpected)....but seriously, I know that for now she is done with the M and that I continue to existr in the house only because I have been DB'ing my a$$ off for two months.
I only keep repeating this on this forum so others dont feel alone in their sitch.
Your doing awesome, hang in there.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Wow...Sorry to hear that. That definitely moves things in a bad direction. Like I said, try and keep a PMA, and realize you have done everything you can. Continue to work on yourself and GAL...as bad as it seems right now, just doing things for yourself, and detaching from your W will eventually make you feel better.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
You don't flip the switch off. I've done a little soul searching and I don't like the person i've become so I know my W possibly can't either so what i'm finally doing is letting go and giving it to God. What I realize is that I like to control and manipulate things to my benefit but right now it's time to learn a lesson and "GROW" from this. Flipping the switch blue really isn't the issue the issue is truly growing from this. I know it [censored], it's the worst possible pains ever. You have to stay strong, I know it looks bleak and hopeless but trust God and he will direct your path.
This will make the strongest man question himself in ways like never before.I've always had a healthy "Sense of Self" so to speak but this is scarring. Coming from a guy that is 6'3" 220lbs former football player and current Personal Trainer i've always had my pick of women and now along comes this "1" that has me bumbling all over myself she's all I want! Stay strong my friend we are all in this together i'll def be praying for you bro and I know that this can be a moment that you and your wife look back on and say we did it we overcame. For now though you have to "lovingly detach" if you hope to have any shot at this... She is not just going to wake up and change her mind so stop waiting for that this is not a test this is the real thing. Boldly, go through it you can do it I know you can!!! If you need anyone to talk to i'm here for you.
Swede, How do you stop loving and caring for someone after 12 years? I'm looking for a switch inside but can't seem to find it.
Loving someone is about loving the other person without expecting anything in return. If you still want to work on your marriage, you should stop asking questions on why and work on yourself.
Completelylost, I appreciate that post. I've been bouncing around the 5 stages of grief for months and realize all the DB mistakes I've made. Sitting in this empty apartment and staring at the four walls is about to drive me crazy. I know, I know, get a life. I'm working on it I wish you the best in your situation and pray also that she'll come back to you.
Bluedown...trust me brother, I understand. My W and I were together for 16 years. She is my sun and my moon. I love this woman with all my heart. However, I have come to the realization that she has checked out of the relationship...and no amount of pining away, pursuing, or wishful thinking at this point will change that.
So what are my options? Feel sorry for myself and be depressed everyday? Or, move forward on working on myself, and knowing that despite my personal feelings...I did everything I could to save the M. I hit the gym, go out and catch a movie, a bite to eat...and spend time with my SS.
Me-45,W-36 M-12 yrs, T-15 years SS- 16 Nov 2003 Initial B date, 2-3 others since EA/PA OM 2003-2004 Reconciled 2004 May 2013 Final BD, W completely detaches W files D June 2013 I am moving out 26 July 2013
Script. Nonsense. You can brush those comments off with "im sorry to hear you feel that way. I remember it differently." If you let pure script derail you youre going to make things harder on yourself than necessary.
I am struggling with this ^^^^. Sorry you are hurting, I feel the same as you've expressed in your thread!! This is so hard.
H48 M46 T26 M25 S25 D21 10/4/12 BD - ILYBINILWY, S 10/7/12 H Leaves, works 2 hours away H Done 1/13 H tells S he wants D 2/13 NO R talk since - nothing filed We live together weekends
I wish you the best in your situation and pray also that she'll come back to you.