"3) IF she goes from mood to fleeting mood then only time alone, again, will remind her of what she could have had. Needless to say, if she says she wants to move back in,"
That's just it, 25 - I think she is fundamentally aware of what she could have (and actually DOES have) with me and S back open. Access to S all the time, a backup partner, support, living space.....I could go on. But she pulled the plug two weeks ago she said she was "not going to play family". Yet another reference to her not being with someone if the feelings aren't there. Which brings us right back to the notion of feelings and her not viewing them as something that ebbs and flows, comes and goes. So yeah, I think that she academically understands what is at home for her - she just doesn't see the worth in it, or at least in "faking" a relationship as she sees it.
And yes, major cognative dissonance! She whip-saws between decisions based off of her emotions as I see it. How else could she be planning on baby #2 one week, moving things BACK into the house, and then literally two days later move them all back. Then says "she's done" and that "we tried our best" and won't go to a counselor (after saying days prior that she would).
"Thing is NO R can just resume...without snaffus and rough spots, which she sees as the kiss of death." -
I get that. She does not. And she does not seem to WANT to get it. Rather, her belief is that some "flow" should be there and if it isn't and if a flood of feelings don't come rushing back quickly then it was not meant to be. As cliche as it has become to say, relationships are hard work. Rebuilding one after a collapse may be even harder. Hard to her = she's "forcing it". And if she's forcing it, it's not meant to be. Otherwise, it would just......"flow". Because what's meant to be flows easily.
Message received. I'll shelve the embryo talk. You're right - nothing good can come of it right now.
And no, I can't bring another baby into this world into a broken home. Missing two kids would be dreadful. Yet I SO want a sibling for S. Rock. Hard place.
