Re: Thought I Was Piecing, Now I'm Detaching III

[25yearsmlc]

PON

I got a lot out of NeedsGrace's post. Please read it again with great care and attention to detail. It was not all applicable to "me" but I can relate to several parts of it and think it's along the lines of some of your work.

And your screen name, (that book Power Of Now)-well sometimes I want to know if you need to read it again. And no offense, okay, but did you actually read that book? I did read it and got a bit out of it. But then I LISTENED to it on audio and something about his soothing voice makes the book clearer. I Don't listen to it driving, I listen to it when I lay down to sleep and still have some mental energy to chill with.

grace thanks for post. I have tools to manage anxiety. The trend is the day after she does this I spin out. I call everyone on my list to call. Which is ok. Some on list I shouldn't call. My alanon sponsor is spot on.

What we're doing is giving you more tools. That's b/c it is the core issue you have and the tools have not been sufficient to stop the spinning. It spins and spirals and sometimes you act on it, but you are improving. Still it usually seems to just wreck parts of your day, a few days a week...and life can and ought to be better for you than that.


I think snodderly is right, gabby is right, I know you're all right. I honestly am continuing to work on myself very hard. I'm so early in on the work though. It is so slow moving for me. I need to put more of this in my higher powers hand and let it go from this day forward.

It's a real gift to give yourself, when you learn to turn it over. Truly.

I appreciate your tips. I have a rubberband on my hand, I have mantras, I have chi gong breathing which helps me deeply. (deep slow breathing) I have alanon sponsor who is a GOD send miracle.

^^Those are great tools. So you know, WE change too. And sometimes the tools that helped us before, don't work as well, or sometimes we have to go back to basics.

When I was depressed, mornings were toughest on me. "What to do NOW?" was a huge heavy question that made me feel directionless.

But when I feel anxious, it's the evenings when I cannot sleep, b/c my "mental safeguards" are let down and the scary monsters of failure loom more at me.

So then I get my Power Of Now tape on, or my Marianne Williamson (Handling Fear & Anger, or "Return to Love" OR "The Gift of Change" are all great pieces and she has the best exercises for forgiveness that I know of).

Or some Joel Osteen if you like the scriptural stuff more,

and put the optimistic calming pieces on your playlist of your IPOD.

I also had my "I'm mad as he11 and I'm not going to take it anymore!" playlist for my DAYTIME runs...also known as "marathons of fury".

Whatever works...

I am doing much better right now in this moment. My disappointment is from 7 am to 10 am I spun my tires badly.

So, 3 hours of spinning and you spun until YOU slowed those RPMs down...not a whole day. Good! If it comes up again tomorrow b/c mornings are weird for you, make a plan NOW to address it.

And put it in God's hands when you can, (or Higher Power)

BTW, I used to call God, my "Higher Power, or "HP" b/c I had so much religious baggage growing up.

But now I'm fine saying either HP or "GOD", b/c that's who MY guy is. But you choose the term you need.

Know He cares & He is strong enough to handle whatever you throw at Him.