What you described as what she was picturing in her head was pretty much what I'd been living the last three months.
Furthermore, she shared that her time away was also difficult. Not a lot of friends, trying to keep S entertained, enduring the scorn of her neighbors because S would cry late at night and early in the morning, boredom, missing S when he was gone. It was not a pretty picture, and I sympathized because I was living an essentially similar life. SHE was the one that wanted to propose coming back.
So what I don't fully grasp is now or why she would want to go back to the way she was living before coming back if it really was that awful for her. She spoke of how her life seemed so "unsettled" and "temporary" at her condo. She flag out said to me "You need to propose something or move on". That is what lead to her moving back.
So I am left to ponder why she would willfully return to "Shawshank"? Is the prospect of being with me and S full time less attractive than the misery she described at her place by herself? Because if what I provide is worse than what she described, life with me (through her eyes) must be pretty bad.
Sandi -
If I knew we would end up together at the end of this process I assure you I would breeze through this process and just enjoy the time I had in front of me. I'd enjoy my time with my son and just ride out this storm. What does that say about me?
Additionally, if I were to date and she were to know about it I'm. Not sure how she would feel about it. During our "rift" yesterday I said that I would have a hard time with her dating (maybe too honest on my part) and she said "I just want you to be happy". As noted, that seems like the kiss of death. Either way, I think nowadays I would just enjoy the company.
I have a question.
How do I handle our remaining embryo now? Do I just avoid the topic for the moment? We are still paying to have it stored. I don't want to destroy or donate it, but we can't go on storing it forever. If I tell my XW that we need to make a decision about it (especially right now) she's likely to believe I'm trying to use it as "leverage" to get her to come back because I know that she does NOT want to destroy or donate it either. I k ow she wants to use it......well, at least she used to up until two weeks ago. Who knows what to think now. Part of me feels that for the moment thins is a topic to not touch with a 10 foot pole. At the same time, if I am truly set to move on, it feel like I need to address it.....even though I really do not want to.
