Hello! It looks like your posts have kind of gotten lost in the shuffle, hopefully you'll be off moderation soon and they'll pop up to the top of the forum when you post.
Originally Posted By: Not Quitting
So, things have just changed up a step. We had a long talk last night. He says he does want to save our relationship but just doesn't know how. He admitted that OW is still in picture but that he has been ignoring texts from her lately if he's with the family. He admitted he knows that having her around still is not being 100% committed to saving things.
He's not ready to reconcile. You are plan B and for now he's happy keeping you there. You've got to break out of that. Make it clear to him that unless OW is out of the picture, you're not his doormat. Quit doing anything for him, no cooking/ cleaning/ etc. If he wants to room with you while pursuing OW then he should expect to take care of himself.
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They have offered him use of their spare bedroom so that he can have space and time to figure out how he wants to proceed.
If he wants to move out then don't agree or disagree, just tell him you support his decision (whatever that may be).
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He moves out at the end of the month, but has stated that he doesn't want it to be permanent.
DO NOT leave the door open for him. If he says he doesn't want it to be permanent, then you tell him you'll cross that bridge when you get to it because you can't say whether or not you'll want him back. He needs to know that while leaving is HIS decision, returning is YOUR decision.
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At least he's admitted that he does want to work things out - that's a big step IMO as up until now he's only said he wasn't sure what he wanted.
It's a non-starter unless OW is out of the picture and he's willing to give you total access to his phone and email to prove she's out.
