25, This ^^^^^ is one of those things where I just have to put blind trust in the fact that you know what you're talking about because I don't feel that she does right now.
My W was dead towards me, then suddenly started showing interest again and signed us up for RetroV saying she was ready to try. During RetroV, W and I talked a lot about her feelings. She basically told me that the entire time we had been separated, despite putting on a happy, content facade she was crying nearly every day in private because she felt so lost and confused. She was actually jealous of me because to her it seemed like I had adapted so well and was so happy and content while she was still lost and afraid. During our time apart she fantasized about getting back together and she had painted a very specific picture of what that would be like. Things like eating dinner together, praying before dinner, etc. Shortly after RetroV she decided again that she didn't want to try and reverted right back to her pre-RetroV attitude and we've been there ever since.
I'm sharing this with you to help you understand that you likely have no idea what your W is really thinking/ feeling. You're seeing a little chunk of ice floating on the water not realizing there's an acre of iceberg under the waterline. Your perception of her is based on what you see, and what you see is a seemingly calm and confident decision to end things. But her reality is that huge world you can't see. And in her world there are crazy storms and twisters and hurricanes and tornados. Nothing is sure, nothing is solid, nothing is reliable. That's why you have to detach, some day those storms will abate, but until then you just can't depend on anything she says or does.
