H dropped the B in Feb, I did pull back but we have always lived together and got along really well even though there was no "us". Then we are "back together" but not necessarily because he can't live w/o me, but because we "have a lot of reasons to stay together"
Do you feel like he is committed to working on the M? Or is it just a convenience thing?
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When I read they won't really get it until they lose you, I feel he didn't lose me after he was a WAH but he lost me before that when I was a WAW. So I am assuming walking away again is a bad idea.
Walking away is never a good idea unless you are just done with H and ready to walk away from the M for yourself.
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However, I feel like we have done this so many times before - he wants a D, we spend some time "apart but together", we get along great, he says nothing is different, we are apart again.
What I would take away from this is you can't fix this yourselves, you've tried that before and it's not working. You could use a good solutions-based MC. Do you have a DB coach? If not you might want to try that, they will counsel either you alone or both of you together. Also check into Retrouvaille, it is a fantastic experience for couples who are both committed to working on things (but not as great if one is a WAS with one foot out the door).
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he doesn't see my GAL (he is at work so much)
GAL is for you. What he should see is your PMA, happiness and independence that comes from GAL.
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How do I know if I am doing too much? Should I still be pulled back some? I really don't know.
If you don't know then that tells me he's not committed. Because if he were then you would know it. So yes, pull back and give him time and space. Work on you.
