Portia please do not think of it as defeat at best it is strategic withdrawal while you regroup. we have to protect our own hearts during all of this too.
You will know when you are done it isn't a decision it is a feeling. If it is a decision then you probably aren't done, just feeling understandably very hurt, if that makes sense?
Dealing with a MLC is just very very hard, and some/many get very stuck and it usually goes on for a long time. So continue with your life, and remember that you are teh prize. if your partner is stupid enough to let you go tht is his loss.
I remember a conversation I had with my accountant, who is also a friend, shortly after John left me, and he said that his biggest regret in his life now was leaving his wife!! And the divorced years ago. He has had two subsequent serious relationships, (and I could easily have become number 3, with a little encouragement (from me)) but she was still the prize. how sad is that?
Acknowledge your feelings fully. You will have a good and full life, I am sure, with your kindness and good sense.
