Crimson.....Are we broken or just bent?

[sandi2]

And even if she does not care for you at all, at this moment, that can and will change.

I think that what has held me back so far is the belief that somehow my R would fall back into place sooner or later and it wasn't fair to bait someone in if I was not fully available emotionally. Oddly enough, I still don't know if that is the case. Not sure what to do there at all.

Don't intentionally bait.....just enjoy getting out. But if you do decide to go fishing, I think you will see what 25 predicted come out pretty fast. "Well it sure didn't take him long to get on the dating scene!" Oh yes, expect it to make her.....shall we say...unfriendly. Even though, she has no right to be angry (b/c she's offered you up on a silver platter to single women everywhere), she will not like it when it actually happens.

Try to remember, it's just another step in her waking up. To begin seeing her XH as being available to other women out there.....and he looks good, too. What was she thinking? So then she'll try to turn on a little feminine charm to see if it still affects you. But, I know all of this is too early for you to digest. I simply wanted to warn you.

And if by some slim chance this doesn't happen, then she really doesn't care. But I think she will. Even when a woman doesn't want a man for herself, that doesn't mean she wants another one to have him. Oh, she may tell you she wants you to be happy, yada, yada.....but she didn't MEAN you could go get somebody else. See? You can't use logic to figure her out. You are just using up all your energy for nothing.

Next step....fill up your calendar with activities (not necessarily dating) with friends & neighbors, shows, community activities or projects, etc. Give yourself some healing time being around folks who appreciate you being who you are. Your ego has taken quite a kick in the teeth, so be around others who will be good for you.

Let me ask you......can you do this without knowing for certain about you and XW? Do you have to know the end of the story right now? Are you able to lay it down for a while and let it rest while you try to partake of the other good things in life?

Even if she would eventually turn around, it might take time apart (I mean really, like D people usually do) so that she has her own experiences in growing. Most people say that if they only knew they would end up together, then they could stand the process....for whatever that might be. Wish it could be that simple for you.