Still...mana mana, doo doo doo doo doo! Part 3

[Tallula]

Hey people. I've been around reading all of your sitch's, thought I'd give a little update.

Things have been going really well with my H. He helps out more than he ever has, even more thoughtful than he has ever been. Each day I just wait for it to stop, and it actually seems to get more and more each day. Even a small conversation about switching gyms was eye opening into his continued willingness to look at himself. We are both very involved in fitness. Before BD and our separation, he wanted to join an MMA gym. Very costly and the classes would be incredibly time consuming. This was a problem, considering we have 2 soon to be 3 small children, we both attend 12 step meetings and IC...and he wanted to add 3-4 weekly classes to his week. Basically, I would have been a single mom during the week and would not be fitting in time for myself. Anyway, I said I was thinking of switching my membership to Gold's so I can have pool use to start training for a tri after the baby comes. He said he'd love to check it out too, since he has no intention of joining the MMA gym. "It was really selfish of me to ask to do this and make you feel bad when you voiced your concerns. I'll do martial arts with S4 when he starts."

We have had many conversations like this over the course of this month. He has blamed me for so many things that weren't my doing, and I had become very controlling over the house and things with the kids. We both have eased up so much, it's just easy. We laugh all the time and just generally enjoy each other and the kids.

IC is going really well. She sees us both, we both are currently reading books she suggested. It's funny, we read them before bed and write in our journals. Me with my co-dependant book, his "healing the shame" book...we joke about it. Time to get healed! She sees my H as honestly wanting to work to be a healthy, monogamous man. Time will tell, she said that my willingness to live in the moment and accept him for who he is has been a huge help to him. Hey, I know I can live a happy & wonderful life without him, so doing this isn't so scary. What do I have to lose? He can't be faithful, so we move on. But we can be friendly and coparent. All I know is that I've watched him grow up and mature in the past 2 months like I never have in the past 13 years. But mainly in IC, I've been working through my own family of origin stuff. Fun!!

We spent this weekend getting the house organized, to begin to move D2 into S4's room. They are sooooo excited to share. It will be interesting to move D2 from a crib to a big girl bed, but decorating the room will be so fun!

Running is down to 3 miles at a time, so I've been putting in more weight lifting. Plus, it's a thousand degrees here in the midwest. Melting!! 33 weeks...he'll be here soon. Wow.