Two years in limbo, it's a fine place

[adinva]

Figured I might as well add the latest about my relationship too since this is DB and not parenting.com. At the encouragement of my IC I texted H a request that he include me in the loop when he makes plans directly with S15 and S13 because I may already have plans.

This was because he's been walking in unannounced and saying he texted S15 about mowing his friend's lawn. I like to at least know when he's coming and what they have planned.

H replied OK and told me what time he'd be coming the next day for the lawn mowing activity.

H had said he wanted to install a lock I had ordered for the workroom door (kids use the tools in there to make bongs, so I decided to put a combo lock on it). So I texted him that the lock arrived and he said he'd come over Sunday. I said we'll be around in the afternoon. I marked the door and taped on the template and started cleaning up the basement, pulled the furniture apart and vacuumed it inside and out, mopped the floor, dusted everything, really really cleaned it thoroughly. Repaired two broken pieces of furniture. H arrived at about 5 as I was finishing mopping, and got to work without much conversation, other than that he didn't like the lock I chose, he thought I should have gotten a regular doorknob and a regular deadbolt because that would be harder to break open. I said "Ok, well, I chose this one." Later he said again that he thought if there was enough give in the door someone could still break through the lock. I agreed but said that was ok because by breaking it I would know they went in there. I feel pretty sure they aren't going to try that hard to break in. Anyway, the kind of lock H wanted isn't what I had, and I'm fine with what I had. I knew he was going to criticize what I chose.

Earlier in the weekend I left him a voicemail. He had just texted me so I thought we'd talk in person but he didn't answer. I wanted to let him know, verbally, that I had just received S15's grades and had discussed them with him. I was not happy about the Cs and D although he did get a couple of A's and a B. I said in our house there was going to be a restriction on driving unless he has As and Bs in the future, and it would be up to H if he wanted to have that rule in his house too but I was letting him know. Also that I had told S15 to show dad his report card when they got together on Saturday. I didn't hear anything back about this, no text or voicemail, and nothing when I saw H Sunday.

H didn't talk about anything, just the inadequacy of the lock. He did the work and was gone when I got home from the movies with S13.

It was nice of him to save me the handyman money. I took one look at the unfinished door and knew it was a job that I did not want to tackle myself.

I was also supposed to, at the encouragement of IC, tell H that he needs to get involved with S15. That S15 may need to go live with H for a couple of weeks, or that H may need to pay for a camp for him. I laughed inside at that. The last time H "got involved" it was primarily yelling at me for trying to [sarcasm]be S15's best friend[/sarcasm] and talking about military school. H doesn't have a home and can't take S15 for a couple of weeks, the idea is ridiculous. And H doesn't pay for camps. And H doesn't like these talks and avoids them like the plague. I don't feel like I have a coparent at all.