She does not show any signs of wanting to work on our M
I would have been shocked to hear otherwise after only a few months since BD.
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I feel now that it is better that she not go until if/when she wants to work on M. No surprise there. She is so done with me right now.
Quite right. She's done for now and no amount of C is going to change her mind. In fact MC usually just helps the WAS to firm up their position, and it often speeds up S or even D.
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She also seems to be withdrawing more too. Not sure what to do about that.
Give her time and space! When she withdraws you should move AWAY from her. Any move you make towards her is pursuit and will drive her farther away.
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The 180's I have done seem to annoy her more than anything. I feel they annoy her because I am not giving her any reasons that she could use as an excuse to leave, not that she needs one. She doesnt seem to like that I am in a good mood when I am around her either. Especially when she is not in a good mood around me.
Good, this is actually perfect! The reason she's annoyed is because she wants this to be easy, she wants to HATE you! She wants you to be a selfish jerk to reaffirm her belief that the M is done. So when you make yourself into the spouse only a fool would leave, it makes her confused and ANGRY! This is why we say to do 180's for months and months, it takes that long for the WAS to believe the changes are real and not just tricks to lure them back. She is also no doubt thinking "why couldn't he change months ago when I wanted him to?" That's exactly what my W thought and she actually resented me for changing after it was "too late" (she told me this at RetroV).
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I dont no how to gauge the detaching but I would say that I am 85% or more detached, lovingly of course.
I thought I was after a few months as well. But I wasn't. I would venture to say it's almost impossible for anyone to have detached that fast. I believe that you think you have, but after 10+ months you'll look back and see things differently I suspect. I'm just mentioning that because you're probably still going to cycle and I just want you to be prepared for it when you cycle down.
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Just waiting on her to make a move one way or another.
= not detached. When you become detached, you won't be waiting for her to do anything.
