Bea, my H does see doctors on a regular basis because of his numerous health issues. However, he does not heed the doctors advice about many things. He openly admits this.
He was supposed to have bloodwork done in April to check his cholesterol. He keeps putting this off as he has not been taking his one medication.
He should be exercising, eating healthy, not drinking. Three strikes and you're out there.
I do worry tremendously about his health. And like you, I would have hounded him about going to the doctors till he went.
But now... I feel like that is not my place. I'm not his mother. He is being incredibly selfish in not taking care of himself, as this not only affects him, but his family too.
It makes no sense to me to deal with a possible shorter life span by shortening it even more. That's less time that everyone who loves and cares for him will have him in their life. That's less time our boys will have their father.
And that is just pure selfishness, plain and simple.
I do believe the crisis has magnified all his health issues ten fold, and that is scary.
I try my best to take care of myself, really have been for years. Besides the first few months after bomb - where I was just trying to survive - I have made it a point to keep my health the best possible.
Because truly, the thought of my precious children having no parents is enough to kill me. I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen.
Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. You are a sweet and wonderful lady, and I'm sorry that your x has caused you and your family so much pain. It just all seems so senseless.
UW ~ thank you for your honesty, I really do appreciate it.
I am beyond glad to hear you say you are happy. I know you have had a tough go of things for a long time, and still do. But you never let it break your spirit. I hope I can make it through this the same.
I completely understand what you mean about being unsure about loving and trusting again - whether it's my H or another man. My heart has been so damaged, it makes me feel damaged. And that is definitely not how I want to be.
I think women like us have such a big heart that it leaves us open to getting hurt. It leaves us vulnerable. Yet, I am not convinced that this is bad if this is who we are.
Even through all this madness, all the lies, deceit, and hurt, I can see that possibility of having a deep and loving M with my H. I have always thought there was something special between us, still do.
Just hope I'm not being unrealistic or blind in believing this.
Still have that hope that things will work out in the end, whenever that may be. Once my hope is gone, then I know it will be time to move on.
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
