Gabby I appreciate your support and I know you mean well for PON. I thought I handled myself the best I could last night. I didn't escalate and you held her to her statements. I said just so I understand "you don't want to work on the marriage, you don't love me, and you want a divorce"

I also told her I wouldn't stand in her way if she files but I would not move out of my home and leave my kids. She didn't like this at all. Basically said (MA) all people that go through D the husband moves out. I didn't respond just told her I wasn't moving out of my home.

My alanon sponsor told me to slow way the H down. I do let this stuff spin me out the next day more then it should. (no detached)

T2 I appreciate you chiming in from vacation. Glad it is going well. One thing I did tell her was I planned on taking kids to vaca house this weekend. If she didn't want to go that is fine but I was going to start enjoying the house with the kids.

My big concern is that she thinks its ok to say "from this moment on we are separated again." Like a teenager breaking up with a boyfriend.

T2 did you get this too?

Maybe talking about going to vaca house was to much pressure for her. Me acting like there were no issues made her panicky. For last 2 months I just worked on myself and did not pursuit or temp check. almost like she needed me to last night. She tried drawing me into argument and I didn't escalate.

"I said I am really bummed out that you feel this way again" In a sympathetic tone. She couldn't respond to me after this. I noticed all she could say was "ok, ok" She was trying to get me to beg and plead and I didn't.

I stuck to my guns. That I wasn't responsible for happiness. That if I was I would flip the happiness switch on. Happiness comes from inside. Just like you don't control my happiness.

I also didn't promote D but told her I wouldn't stand in her way at all. That I wasn't holding a gun to her head.

She definitely discarded the issue was my comment (like 25 said)

She also said something very unique from before. She said I'm not staying in M for kids this time. I know the kids will be fine. I'm staying in M because I fear how you will handle the D. I said what you mean. Your not easy to work with etc.. That I don't want to have to do everything through L's. I said I'm not easy to work with because I want 50% custody of kids, holidays, birthdays etc.. Sorry that doesn't make me impossible because you want something one way and I don't agree.

My only disappointment is let this spin me out today. I'm over it now but this morning (anxiety always high) I really let it get to me. I didn't speak to W but I spoke to mutual friends and Alanon sponsor. sponsor told me to slow down and put it into Gods hand.

My anxiety is resided because I know what I have to do. I do know if she starts going out acting like a single teenager like 25 stated she will most probably do that boundary will not be tolerated.

Appreciate all support. T if you have a break let me know if any of this sounds familiar