I agree Bklyn. I wonder sometimes if its the Effexor causing it. It's like she wants to be "in love" but can't be.
I know the Effexor numbs her. She's been on it 14 months. Is it possible it's losing its effectiveness? In dont know. Maybe I'm still trying to rationalize what's happened to her.
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Interesting day yesterday. After church we all, w included, went to my brothers to swim. That's two weeks in a row for her. More talk of putting in a pool, Disney next spring, and another trip this summer as a family. It hurts. Talk is cheap.
I caught w taking my picture on the diving board. Not sure what that's about. Though I suspect its to show her friends. I believe she's seeing if they think I'm attractive. I get the feeling she wants to be validated in her attraction to me, if there is any.
I was distant yesterday evening, and she even commented that I was acting weird. Before she left she hollered as I walked through the house to try to startle me. I didn't flinch. (I've got two wild boys that live here). She was disappointed that I didn't. Then after she left, I got texts from her about a couple she follows on fbook. Idle chit chat, but it could've waited. I was slow in responding and not very chatty. Since that didnt work, she started playing me in games. Again, I was slow to respond.
I'm not in the mood to play right now. Any of her games. I'm tired of acting. I don't know whether to be her best friend or pull back. I'm ready to move forward with my life and feel like I can't. I want the pool! I want Disney with her next spring! I want too be excited about it, but I can't be.
I know i havent been on here much lately. I felt i needed to pull back some. Just not sure what to do. I miss female companionship. I miss her!
M - 42 W- 37 S's - 9,6 M-12 T-14 FIL- diagnosed with fatal disease spring 2011 ILYBNILWY - march '12 FIL - died jan '13 W Moved out week later
Continue as you have been doing. She feels comfortable around you and if she's making plans, listen and validate. From what you've posted, she's not planning on going anywhere soon. She just needs her space and time to figure things out.
As for not being around here, that's okay...you are living your life and doing things w/your family. Yes, I'm sure you miss her, but look at it this way, she's still there w/you and not on the street. Treasure those moments and understand that she's doing the best she can right now.
Hang in there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm glad to hear things are positive although no activity can fill the big hole in your heart that she left.
It does sound very positive in terms of her watching you. Sometimes some emotional distance as you're doing can make her afraid of losing you. They want to know you're available every moment for them while they go out and play.
Keep strong and being a great father and friend to her. I think you're doing fantastic!
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
