Not really a new comer more like I failed on what I learned two and a half years ago and here I am again....
I'm a little confused about your post, because you imply that you are somehow at fault but then you describe a woman who is very, very troubled. If what you are describing is accurate, you are in a really toxic relationship. Possibly even dangerous.
Quote:
had two different boy friends and who knows how many different men she was talking to online. She had a drug problem an anger problem and was generally just a mean person. She left the kids with me while she moved back to her home town an hour and a half away.
It sounds like she still has an anger problem, what about the drug problem, is that still there?
Quote:
during the first few months things were up and down and she would get angry very quickly and would hit me. I got tired of it and told her we are done if she hit me again.
You do realize this is completely unacceptable and actually criminal behavior? You're a battered husband. It sounds like you may be blaming yourself for her behavior, is that the case?
Quote:
Then she got into a fight with one of my friends wives. It was violent and my kids were there. The only thing I thought of doing was getting my kids to the car and safe.
Good for you, that was absolutely the right thing to do.
Quote:
This is where I was supposed to kick my friends ass. I guess he hit her and pulled her hair out. This is the Situation she likes to go back to often.
As what, an example of how she thinks you should have gotten violent and didn't, and therefore you were in the wrong? Because if that's what she thinks then SHE is wrong.
Quote:
my failings I still worry about money, I don't kick my friends asses, I don't trust her.
Those aren't failings. You should worry about money, because she clearly doesn't. SOMEONE needs to be responsible. And not kicking people's asses, obviously that's not a failing. And based on your description, not trusting her isn't a failing, it's prudent, because she's not to be trusted.
Quote:
I feel cut off from her, naturally, and I want to be able to tell her I love her and I miss her and I want to continue our lives. She doesn’t want to hear it. I just need help, I need to re-remember what it is I need to do. I do not want a divorce I do not want my kids to be going back and forth. I just want to fix it.
I think she's the one that needs help, but it sounds like she's in denial about it and maybe you are too. I really think you need to seek out IC, if what you've portrayed here is accurate then your W needs serious help and you need help in seeing her for what she is so that you can act accordingly to protect you and your children. Are you comfortable that your children are safe spending every other week with your W? Does her violent nature come out when dealing with the children? Is she still doing drugs even "recreationally"? What kind of people is she hanging out with?
