Up in the air, LONG

[Demoted26]

My dad had a set back last night at 1 am. He had to be rushed back to the ICU & re-intubated. It sounded grim, but I knew nothing...I was sound asleep. So hubby got a text from son that all this was going on. He got up, got ready to bring me back to the hospital 3 hours away.
So, he decided to grab my phone & go through it to get my brothers cell number & let me sleep, knowing I was exhausted & gonna freak out once I got this news my Dad had crashed.
In the process he found stuff I'm embarrassed about. I feel like a school girl with a crush who got busted fawning over the popular boy in school who doesn't know you exist.
I have saved texts from him since April that in any way gave me hope to hold on. I also had done Google searches "I mean a lot to him? Meaning" &"divorce busting". Sigh

Ever since he's withdrawn from me. Still friendly, but I got an anemic hug when he left & he made a couple of comments this weekend about things "we" could do (travel to Hawaii) someday, then comes up with , "I'm not trying to get rid of you, but you should move to your dads to take care of him".
Well, one, the hospital says my dad is doing ok now (he had an ulcer that caused last nights problem), but will have to go to a nursing home after ther hospital to gain strength...and two, my dad lives with my brother & SIL (a nurse) & there is literally NO ROOM for me to go there.

So, I'm as confused as he apparently is. I don't know where to turn, what to think.