need help

[kelela]

Mizjjd I haven't been sleeping very well lately but its my fault I'm letting my race once again. I know I need to cut it out. Its just hard but I think today I'm doing a bit better I have keeping to myself and not looking over to see what H is doing cause I already know what he is doing and it hasn't bother me one bit today. We are having small conversations about the festival this weekend in the town we live in. I'm trying to be happy around him even tho we both know I'm still hurting and I'm trying to give him all the space he needs and I'm still praying that things will get better and hopefully one day we will be able to reconnect and yes I know it will be a long time from now. So far he hasn't brought up the D again and trust me I'm not going to bring that up. Im not ready to give up yet and I hope he isn't either and I'm not going to ask at all. Maybe with me pulling away it will make him see that I have changed a little.I still could use a lot of prayers here. I'm going to do everything I can to see if I still have a chance to save my marriage. And I'm so greatful that I'm getting a lot of advice on here. Today is a new day and I'm starting to come up with plans to change my approach to my situation cause I really want to save my marriage.