When expressing your feelings to us, you often add that you would not say it to your XW. the way. This is not the beginning where the LBH'S is told not to discuss the R with his W. That has been over for a long time. She left you, D you, went back to you, and left again. So, if there is ever a time to tell her the things you are saying to us...I believe it's now. Stop protecting her and laying the rose pedals for her to walk upon.
I am not trying to make this a XW bashing, but to show you how blind she is to her own spoiled life, let me point out something that she apparently hasn't considered...or has failed to discuss. If she cannot handle one child, how do you think she will handle two kids? She's wanting to have another baby, but who is going to take care of him/her?
There are countless single women who have no help with the care of their children. Many have to work more than one job, just to pay monthly bills. Most single women work a FT job and then go home to attend to the kids, prepare dinner, and take care of all the housework. It is not a picnic, and when S3 is in school, there will be the homework and extra school activities, sports or whatever. Then what?
She needs her rose colored glasses removed about how single parents have to deal with what they have on their plate. The gall that she asked if you had forgotten how hard of a time she had with him during the summer.
Why not speak up and tell her that is not how things work? She won't like it, but I grant you that she will respect you as much, if not more, for standing up to her. I know, I know you are afraid it wil push her away. She depends on you too much to get too far away.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
