I do think you have to start asking yourself, what exactly you will have "won" if he ends the affair.
I mean, this is a guy who has lied repeatedly to your face, compromised your family's financial affairs, and ignored your concerns.
If his affair just peters out, do you really think you will be able to trust him? Do you want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder?
It seems to me, the best likelihood (in YOUR sitch, at THIS time - not suggesting this to other posters) - but the best likelihood of YOUR H doing the work that needs to be done to fix this, is for you to be willing to walk away. He's had no consequences so far for his affair.
Sure, the OW may be getting tired of waiting, or he may be getting tired of her, and maybe if you were super-attractive and flirtatious he would drop the affair. But him dropping the affair without doing the hard work to become a better and more honest person - just leaves you still married to a guy who cheated and likely will cheat again.
On the other hand, if you TRULY call him on all this, back it up with proof that even he can't deny, and make it clear you are ready to walk away - he MIGHT - only might - come to his senses and start some real counseling and work on himself. And if he doesn't? Do you really want to be with a guy who wouldn't fight for you?
Yes, I know all about MLC, and you've been remarkably patient - but this has gone on for YEARS now.
