yet those feelings are there. I will not yield to them, this is a fight I will win.
Maybe the thing to do is just accept where you are (emotionally) and not fight it. I think fighting our feelings is a part of how we get here. We feel sad, we cover it with anger, we feel hurt, we cover it with anger, we feel grief, we cover it with anger.
That's why sitting with the feelings is so important but it's also asking WHAT am I feeling and WHY? Then there's the reaction, is it really about something that happened in the present or is it past stuff?
You'll get there, Subguy!
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
BUG, this is why I love this forum, i can feel the virtual love. Yes maybe fighting was the wrong word. More like fighting for me, I am learning to name my emotions and deal with them as they come. Anger sometimes can propel us forward but usually in the wrong direction.
I am a work in progress.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I am good tori, thanks for asking. I am not fighting my feelings... I am allowing them to be. I think I had a little bounce after vacation as it was an awesome then back to reality and I had a bit of a pity party. I am on an even keel again and doing pretty good. Sometimes we never see the bump in the road and it can leave a nasty feeling when we hit them. Good news I know how to deal with them better now and it did not last as long or go as low as before. Progress, right???
This month is a busy one for me, next week me and my D go on a mission trip with church. My first mission trip with her
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I am in a good place mentally right now... after my trip to Alaska I had a little blip in the road but have found my stride again. Tomorrow well... we shall see what it brings.
How do I get my wife to communicate with me about our daughter?!?! My D and I are leaving for a mission trip on Sunday and I have texted her several times about out itinerary. Well, she decided to go out of town and just assumed I would take our D several days early and she setup a physical therapy appointment without telling me that I am now responsible to take her to . While, I love the extra time with my daughter, I have to cancel an appointment with IC and make last minute plans to take her where she needs to go. She told my D that she texted me with all the info earlier this week (I have not received any text). Am I wrong or should I expect a little courtesy with a heads up so I can make plans??? Am i expecting to much and how do handle the lack of communication, she has ignored and made plans for our d without ever consulting me since she moved out. I don't want to know her business, however I would like to know our D's business and feel like it is not our d's job to tell me.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
It's wrong. It's maddening. Your job is to handle it in a way that does not add stress to D. She'll have plenty of opportunity to be aware of how her mom is being. Make sure she only gets calm, emotionally stable vibes from you.
subguy, unless it's life or death, I wouldn't sweat it. Figure out your bottom line and let the rest go. SD has a great point, focus on what's best for D.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
It's wrong. It's maddening. Your job is to handle it in a way that does not add stress to D. She'll have plenty of opportunity to be aware of how her mom is being. Make sure she only gets calm, emotionally stable vibes from you.
Have a great trip!
Ugh!!! Yes thank you for the reminder and gentle slap upside the head... I cannot control her,I can control me and not my actions effect my D in a negative way. OOSSSSAAAHHHH!!!!
Originally Posted By: labug
subguy, unless it's life or death, I wouldn't sweat it. Figure out your bottom line and let the rest go. SD has a great point, focus on what's best for D.
I know don't sweat the small stuff... frigging layers and onions again.
At least I got my D a few extra days...
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
I am starting to understand and I mean really understand the saying I've seen written here so many times. "You didn't break her you can't fix her", once we really get that it's so much easier to start down forgiveness lane. I'm not being condescending or trying to act like she is sick, however I did not break her. This is something she must work out and I wish her the best. I must say that I was also broken and not happy and at some point may have become the WAS, she just beat me to the punch. The difference is I am trying to accept my role in our relationship and change. It is difficult facing my fears and demons yet necessary.
Another journey begins today, my D and I are going on a mission trip with church. In the past I would not have taken off to do this. I thought my job was to work and provide money so my family could do those types of things. It's my turn to experience life with my D before she's an adult and I'm excited... I feel like a kid at Christmas time. I know that sounds corny, but
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
