You have such good instincts, so I think changing it up a bit and seeing how it goes is exactly right.
As far as the OW, I think it is hard for them to admit they are wrong. After all, in order to have this affair, look at what they did to their marriage, their lives. To admit they were wrong means there is something wrong with them. And they need to be in a place to be able to accept that.
I know for my xh, the affair lasted longer than it would have for just those reasons. He had to try to make it work in order to justify the devastation it wrought. So he held on as long as he could.
Their thinking is so distorted in their jello MLC brain.
But the affair doesnt have the legs to last, as it is built on such negativity - lies, deceit, crisis.
She is losing her control, T. I feel it.
He is spiraling, I can feel that, too.
And here you are, amazing and strong.
Get a longer shovel, sweetie. That's all you can do right now.
Oh and get out the blender. I've got my chair. Snacks and drinkks are on me.
