Was reading back through my thread. Such support from everyone
I was thinking about some of the things you wrote, Complicated.
My H is not on any AD's, nor do I see that happening any time soon.
No doubt eventually all OW end up showing their true colors. It's easy to put on that "I'm so great and wonderful" mask for awhile, but it can't be forever.
I think my H's OW has been showing her true colors for awhile now. Sometimes I wonder if he keeps trying to prove himself right about her, keeping the A going when it is running out of steam.
It's hard to admit when we're wrong - maybe impossible if you're in crisis.
I wish you all the best with your sitch. If your H is choosing to spend time at home, I think that is a huge step in the right direction.
Ha ha rH - I liked your theme park story! I think they do notice us, even when they're in deep. Just not sure exactly what thoughts they are processing...
And I could be wrong - I could be totally wrong - but I think my H is noticing me more and more. Now what he's doing with those thoughts, it's anybody's guess lol!
Honestly Raine, I don't think there is a better name for her than Frumpy Twat!
Though remember my sis said she looked like an ugly Cabbage Patch Doll! But Frumpy Twat Ugly Cabbage Patch Doll is a little long
I can only imagine what is going on in my H's mind. One day, when (hopefully) he is out of the fog completely, I think he may be quite embarrassed at who he chose to have an A with, who he chose to risk everything for. She is such trash, and she dragged him down in the gutter with her. Sad.
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Soooooo.....
H had a golf outing yesterday, which was legit. I assumed he would use this opportunity to see her and come home late. He wore his date night undies and golf shirt I believe she bought him.
He surprised me by coming home a little before 6:00 pm. He was drunk as a skunk again
Seemed jovial (lol!), called me babe, talked about how he golfed, asked me how my day was with boys.
Told him my parents were coming over soon to visit. He got weird and said something like "Your parents will think I'm an idiot. A big fvcking idiot,"
I didn't want him around my parents like that, so I suggested he lay down. Fortunately, he past out.
Slept till a little after I got boys to bed. He was still pretty drunk. He then started his major attempt to get attention from me.
He asked me to rub his neck because he had a massive headache. So, I decided to (as FY put it) "shake things up a little".
I started rubbing his scalp - told him they did this during my massage the other day, and I thought it felt good.
Well, he absolutely loved it. Kept saying how good it felt over and over. I can't explain it - it wasn't sexual, but maybe kinda sensual? Oh, and he so asked me to rub his thighs????
At one point he said that this feels so good, this human touch.
I thought that is what he is getting from OW????
As I have said before, I have spent a long time distancing myself from H. I've given him miles and miles of space.
But I think the time has come to change things up a bit and see what happens. I'm going to continue to give him space, but have stepped up the other stuff - eye contact, physical touches, conversation, non- sexual flirting. So far, so good.
The evening ended with me saying I was tired and going to bed (which I was after having boys all day). He thanked me, said he appreciated it, then started getting texts and I could hear him texting after I went to bed. He said this morning that he didn't sleep well again last night.
Unfortunately, I think he is seeing her for a bit this afternoon. He made up some thing with his brother, but I don't believe it. We'll see if he comes home for dinner (which he said he would).
So over FT and all this nonsense. Putting my big girl pants on and digging deep, deep, deep for patience
Btw, finished "The Affair". Very interesting. Found myself getting mad at the H, and he's not even a real person lol! Good read though, very good read.
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
