Thank you once again everyone - especially 25 and Sandi.
I hear what you are saying and agree with you - I am just digging for the strength to execute. Honestly, the pain is lessening somewhat - as is the shock. The feelings of missing her are still around though - but I hope they will subside eventually. I really enjoyed the family dynamic over the last few months and now this big house just feels empty....hollow. Over time I am sure that I will get over it.
I often wonder aloud if she will ever miss me at all. Sometimes I look back through all the pictures that we have accumulated together over the years and I can't help but think she has forgotten that we had good, loving, fun times too. Has she forgotten they ever existed? Has she forgotten the joy we felt when the Dr. told us she was pregnant? Or the joy the day he was born? Where did all of that go? How does it get replaced or overwritten?
No matter, I am doing my best to move on and not keep looking over my shoulder. I wish I could tell you all that in my heart that I was brave or strong enough to say that I truly do not want her back.....I'm not. I am still praying for my family back someday - but I don't think that day will be soon.
Thanks for all of your guidance and advice. I am really trying to keep my strength up to follow it.
