What the...?

[chasingpavements]

My brain is now wrapped around one thing...this has happened several times in the past and I always think our R is improving, then months later something will happen and he will say "Yeah, we were getting along better but I didn't feel any different" or "things may have seemed better but they weren't inside" ..something along those lines.

I don't know if it is fear speaking or if he is waiting to feel the sparks he felt when we first met. I believe he has unrealistic expectations about what he will feel and that it is how he will know we should stay together.

I would like to ask him (next week, we just talked Monday) what he means by "deep love" and what he thinks a better M looks/feels like (or something like that), what his expectations are of what he will feel like when things are better. Should I do that or should I just keep working on me and not worry about this? I feel like we are headed down the same path we have traveled for the last few years and I want to go left at the fork this time instead of taking the same old path on the right.

Hi there, I have just read through your thread, and I seem to be going through those same kind of emotions. A few weeks ago, my H told me *exactly* the same things you are hearing, the "things have changed but not enough and I still feel the same way" and "we were getting along better but I still feel the same way, the feelings just aren't there..", etc.

I'm pretty sure my H is feeling the same way, feeling that he has lost the "spark" we once had. I too, at times, feel like asking my H what "real love" would look and feel like to him. Did you end up asking your H about that?

5LL is a great book. I think it's normal to have so many different LL's, I too had a lot of equal LL's, QT, Gifts, PT.