Hey newman sorry I've been away for so long. Trying to catch up on your sitch. I see you asked what would be if someone were in your sitch. Well speaking only for me I can say that after being in your sitch for two years and being in limbo I would most likely tell her that it's time for her to go. I'm sure she wouldn't be happy but she is the one who is choosing to have an EA.
IMHO the cake eating must stop and it really sounds like you are ready. To give you a quick update on my sitch our mediation is done and all that's left is is for us to get a lawyer to check over the agreement and to file for divorce. Last week my STBX started moving her belongings out of the house and as I'm writing this she is over her fathers house (that's where she's moving) painting her room with her sister. Next weekend she should have everything out of the house. I have started to date and I have to admit it feels strange after almost 26 yrs with her. STBX knows I'm dating and is ok with it. Funny how we now seem to get along better now that everything is over.
I'll be checking in with you more frequently newman.
Hey Leo ,
Good to hear from you. Yes the cake eating has developed in the course of 2 years...the beginning of 2 yrs, she wasn't comfortable with it. But because it worked that I was there in family gatherings to fake the happy family portrait and when the weekdays came she get her fix with OM. It worked easily for them, I've allowed it unconsciously, I've created a cake eater...my bad. So I'm changing that.
So you went with the mediation route huh? When I spoke to a L, he gave me a card of a mediator. That's what he told me too that a L will have to check the agreement. What's the advantage of the mediator? Is it considerably cheaper?
So you're back to the dating scene? Good for, you don't have to have serious R but just meet people, go out and have fun. I'm not gonna lie, if we separate I'd probably will date, you know just to go out. If its mutual agreement to just go out and no serious R why not. Idk just a thought.
So Leo, you have accepted its over?
Hey thanks for checking in on me don't be a stranger. Keep us posted.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
