W has opened up and we are talking more this week? My wife brought up the R talk by stating that we are not on the same page with regards to our M. She didnt come out and say that she wanted a D but she didnt say that she wanted to work on the M either.
I try to look at this as a positive (ok, maybe just neutral )but my wife is just trying to be more civil towards me (her words). Its better than the cold shoulder treatment that has going on for so long. She says that I am taking it the wrong way, meaning, that I am looking at it as we are moving in a positive direction. She says she doesnt feel the same way. I believe her. I told her that I understand that she is not happy with us and that I understand that our M may not work out.
We then had a fairly productive talk about where we are with our R. Not very positive mind you, but it was the most we have talked about our M. She stated that we havent been doing things as a family for a while and the she thought that we understood that is the way things are now. I told her that we dont do things as a family because that is her choice, not mine. I stated that I would like to start doing things together as a family so that we may start to close the divide between us. She agreed with me that there is a divide and that it is not closing.
I told her that I wanted her to understand that my goal was to keep our family together. I said that I understand that she does not want that right now and asked her to acknowledge that that statement. She back peddled so that she would not have to admit that she is making the choice to break our family apart.
Journaling Section: 6-21-13
Wife states:
-She is not interested in dating anyone right now. -Regarding dating- we must inform the other prior to dating anyone. -She does not feel the same way as I do about reconciliation. -She does not know if she will ever feel for me again. -She said that I may have to eventually accept that she does not feel the same way about our M as I do right now "IF" she continues to feel the way she does. I told her that I dont have to accept it and that I wont give up on her and our family. That is my choice. -She said that she is happy just being by herself and with the kids right now. -She said that she would like us to get along even if it doesnt work out.
This recent talk does not give me much hope that she will change her feelings anytime soon, if ever. I know, I know. Its a marathon, not a sprint.
I think it is progress (not really positive progress I suppose) that she has opened up to me more in the last week. It has been 3 months since she has been willing to talk to me about much of anything. The progress seems negative but she is at least talking about our R and venting what her feelings are.
MrBond and other Vets, please let me know where I am backsliding so that I may try to improve on that. After proof-reading my post I can see many backslides. All critiques of my situation are welcome from anyone. T
