Nero, how did you make out during your H's visit? I agree it is a sign of strength to understand your own weaknesses. You are getting stronger and stronger. Maybe not strong enough to kick his ass out of your life completely, but I really think you are not ready to do that yet, have not given up hope yet. But if and when the time comes, you will find the strength. This is such a wise statement: " we'll get there - and that is true. who says we have to rush and "prove" anything to anyone. all we need to do is nurture ourselves- our hearts- heal up some - get a grip some- get stronger some (feeling) etc." You're right. We'll get there on our OWN timeline, with help from each other!
Aw Dawn, you wrote: "So why the hell am I scared. He's the one who needs to wake up and smell the lack of independence. He needs to miss me, understand what he's giving up, and not want to trade any of that for an stupid "friendship" w a looser. Or, GTF out! I can't make it any more simple! Oh, yea I can leave! We'll see, like you I am just hanging on to the gift of time!"
One way I have been able to survive the past 3 1/2 years of MLC insanity is to keep Plan B in my mind at all times. I am trying to stand, until I cannot stand any longer. But if and when I cannot, Plan B is to kick his sorry ass out, and my H knows it. He keeps making stupid remarks, for instance, he asked me for more time, as HE is trying to decide whether he wants to divorce me and marry the Tramp, or to just live together as friends. As if I had no say in the matter at all. He's delusional. No matter what he wants, when I'm done, he'll be gone.
But in the meanwhile, I'm trying to hang in there until he wakes up, in the hope that when he wakes up, he'll love me again, just like you are. We can do this, Nero and Dawn
