I would like to say yes. But never really gave it enough time. I would always backslide, then I hit a anger stage. I'm past the anger now. I just need to realize even tho July 8th is when everything is final. That maybe in the future it could work. Don't know. Just [censored] being divorced twice, really takes a blow to your self esteem.
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
. your text demonstrated that you're more concerned with how you feel, when she is not interested in that, but if you reread db and the 37 rules you may see this as part of a typical pattern and not more than that. .
Not sure I understand what you mean?
She means you keep pushing YOUR agenda on your W!! YOU want to get back together, not HER!! She doesn't want that! Every time you remind her you're saying "you and I want different things, and all I care about is what I want." DB basics tell you to remove all pressure from the WAS. Don't EVER initiate R, M or D talks. Paradoxically, she has to learn to miss you before she'll consider reconciling. As long as you throw yourself out there are plan B she'll never learn to miss you.
. your text demonstrated that you're more concerned with how you feel, when she is not interested in that, but if you reread db and the 37 rules you may see this as part of a typical pattern and not more than that. .
Not sure I understand what you mean?
She means you keep pushing YOUR agenda on your W!! YOU want to get back together, not HER!! She doesn't want that! Every time you remind her you're saying "you and I want different things, and all I care about is what I want." DB basics tell you to remove all pressure from the WAS. Don't EVER initiate R, M or D talks. Paradoxically, she has to learn to miss you before she'll consider reconciling. As long as you throw yourself out there are plan B she'll never learn to miss you.
Thanks for the clarification AS. Makes sense
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
Yes, that's what I meant. And Waiting is right, this is DB101. Don't use backsliding as an excuse to do more backsliding or give up. DBing is about holding your head up, saving your self esteem, and looking like someone a woman might be interested in coming back to. It's about not wallowing in self pity, and pleading, and pushing. It's about really hearing that the other person doesn't WANT to be with you, and taking a step WAAAAAAYYY back and getting on with life, which is the only thing that won't push her farther away. And it will restore your self esteem, and it will give you a chance to become a better person. No downside.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Yes, that's what I meant. And Waiting is right, this is DB101. Don't use backsliding as an excuse to do more backsliding or give up. DBing is about holding your head up, saving your self esteem, and looking like someone a woman might be interested in coming back to. It's about not wallowing in self pity, and pleading, and pushing. It's about really hearing that the other person doesn't WANT to be with you, and taking a step WAAAAAAYYY back and getting on with life, which is the only thing that won't push her farther away. And it will restore your self esteem, and it will give you a chance to become a better person. No downside.
Thanks you are absolutely right!! Time to pull it together and get on with life.
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
. your text demonstrated that you're more concerned with how you feel, when she is not interested in that, but if you reread db and the 37 rules you may see this as part of a typical pattern and not more than that. .
Not sure I understand what you mean?
She means you keep pushing YOUR agenda on your W!! YOU want to get back together, not HER!! She doesn't want that! Every time you remind her you're saying "you and I want different things, and all I care about is what I want." DB basics tell you to remove all pressure from the WAS. Don't EVER initiate R, M or D talks. Paradoxically, she has to learn to miss you before she'll consider reconciling. As long as you throw yourself out there are plan B she'll never learn to miss you.
That's gonna be tough considering her time seems to be consumed with OM
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
But pushing your agenda on her is NOT going to help you, it just isn't. You need to see the forest beyond the trees and be more patient, and follow the 37 rules, and stop thinking about what her time is consumed with.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
But pushing your agenda on her is NOT going to help you, it just isn't. You need to see the forest beyond the trees and be more patient, and follow the 37 rules, and stop thinking about what her time is consumed with.
True. I've just been struggling lately if I even want this M to work lately. Some days I feel I couldn't forgive her then the next I do. I guess this is normal to a point. She's done some pretty crappy things to me and I guess I'm really trying to find out within myself why I allow myself to be walked all over.
Me:34 W:26 Together:5yrs M:6/4/11 1st bomb 11/11 2nd bomb 1/21/13 W files for D 3/18/13 She's living with her mom S:13 Previous marriage S:11 Previous marriage She has OM Previous FWB
That's gonna be tough considering her time seems to be consumed with OM
Don't assume everything is perfect with OM. It never is. That is why you need to busy yourself making -you- into the spouse only a fool would leave, because when she starts getting tired of OM's quirks you want her to look back and see you as the better option. Have you read Married Man Sex Life Primer? He makes an interesting point in it, you actually have a leg up on the competition because your W already chose you once. So there was something appealing and attractive to her about you. And it's still there, so capitalize on it, enhance it, make yourself that guy that she was originally attracted to.
