Thanks for the input folks. I will say, the roller coaster hasn't been fun, but I am able to move between the phases a lot quicker.
Originally Posted By: Thumpered
Think of it this way maybe, would you want to come back to the current you? You need to make yourself the person she's crazy to leave.
I used that as a yard stick for a long time. I have always thought, I won't give up until I have become that man....and not only do I think I'm there, I think my W has seen that guy (and enjoyed him), for a fairly significant period of time.
That's not to say that I'm still not learning and growing as a person....but do I think I'm now a H only a fool would leave? Yeah, I can say yes to that.
Originally Posted By: SFC_Swede
I guess its a mixed bag of good an bad. One could argue at least we know where we stand and not have to ride the roller coaster.
Yeah, I sometimes think about that. In some ways, it would certainly be easier if she'd just make up her damn mind. But I think she's too scared to go all in with me right now. I know she wants to, but she's just not at a point where she's willing to risk it....yet.
And yes, I also agree that it's good something is still there. If I would ignore the fact that she continues to talk to OM, everything else would be like newlyweds...it's really that good on a daily basis. And that is another reason I struggle with the D...I can't imagine it being any better with anyone else (outside of OM of course).
At this point, I'll take the separation, and let her affair play itself out. I'm pretty confident she will want to come back at some point....the question is going to be, will she have figured out some of the issues that keep her running to OM and will she really be willing to put in the hard work that follows. As far as I'm concerned, the ball is in her court....she has to figure out what she wants, and then she's got to figure out how to get it.
