I read so many hear that want their spouse to return "for love", and that's the only reason. THEY WON'T! They don't love you like the OP! They have to use their brains and make the smart choice, which is hard for them! What the wayward doesn't believe is that they will ever love you again. I'm proof that they can!!! Have them return for any reason they want, who cares! They are back! Now you can rebuild the love!
I think you have very good insight into the thinking of the WAS. I wonder if you see an EA as different? What if the WAS decides to come back, but still has some contact with the OP due to unavoidable interactions?
