Thumpered, read Sandi's post again and every day if you need to. You seem to be a you want what you want, when you want it kind of guy. Remember it took your W's BD fro you to see problems and want to change. Slow your roll. She's not going to suddenly be "not depressed" just because you've seen the light. People who are depressed can't just snap out of it or make themselves feel better. Yes, there are things they can do to aid in their recovery but she has to want to. She's not there yet and you trying to get her there will slow the process.

Don't mindread about her depression, it won't help you or her.

."What the he!! im I doing, this person could really, when it comes down to it, care less if I get hit by a car on the way to work."

What happened to make you think this? How do you know that's true?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss