Crimson.....Holy smokes, I'm piecing,

[2thepoint]

Kind of makes me sad, I guess - because the one thing that she has consistently stated from BD to last week is that her heart is closed. And Sandi, I'm out of ideas on now to open it. I have done all that I can on my end to evolve and be......better. She acknowledges it, and still keeps a closed heart. And as long as that remains the case, really, what can I do?

I apologize for having two threads. This one will lock soon.

Argh! Crimson! Do you not get it? I know you do but your words reflect otherwise.

Let me quote for you an important part of Sandi's last post to you:

Something I believe all WAW’s have to experience (and MWD agrees) is that they have to suffer some type of loss due to their decision to walk away from the M. Even if she never physically leaves the home, she needs to experience and take responsibility of whatever it is she has lost. It could be her reputation, or a relationship with her children, or her H moving on, or a number of things. But it needs to be severe enough that it works much like the bomb did to you. That is why the LBH is so motivated to work on the M...b/c it is a wake-up call, while the WAW has no motivation to work at all.

The fact that she attempted was progress made in the right direction. But if she doesn't get that wake-up call, you may be doing this same thing for a long time...or until you just crash & burn and can’t do it any longer.

You have to let her go. Completely! Cut off all but the most critical contact. Move on with your life. Let her feel the pain of her decisions and yours.

Do you remember Bustorama's post about what eventually triggered his WAW's return? He told his W very directly, to stop all contact unless it was an emergency related to the kids. If she had an emergency and it didn't affect the kids, he didn't want to hear about it. When kid exchanges occurred, he never went into the house. In fact he made a point of picking up and dropping the kids off at school so he did not have to have any interaction whatsoever with his W. He stopped doing any type of family activities with her. He basically cut her completely out of his life and he moved on. And it was only after he did all that did she finally wake up!

That is what Sandi is saying to you here. Let her go. It is your only hope to open her heart. She has to feel the loss, completely and finally.

Can you do it?