Divorced-not done-But wondering ?

[JJAC2005]

I actually have been thinking about this all day for many reasons…
I continued to improve…I worked on my 180’s and my GAL programs
I am a better version of what I was when I was married…and she (my wife) noticed it after our talk.
But in NO way is she letting on that she is at all interested in looking at us again…in fact she is stating the complete opposite…that she will never give me any more second chances.
So, I have to take the friendship offer for now….let my actions speak loud and clear!
She knows my heart…she knows exactly how I feel about everything…..I made it pretty clear, and yes I know that it pushed her back a few steps.
However, she is still there…she is still keeping in touch, still letting me know that there are things that she thinks about.
Being friends with someone you are deeply in love with and want so much more with…really [censored]!
But, It’s a lot better than the alternative…and in my case a complete 180 from 6 months ago!
That being said….I know that there isn’t a BF alive that would allow their GF to go out hanging with their ex…..
There was something I said about her new figure just 3 days earlier when we were golfing…something about her guns and her being buff….but in a good way, as she looked incredibale!
Anyway, she texted me again last night (late) when I know she should have been texting her bf instead of some silly insecure moment she was having and needed my validation on for her to feel better….but she reached out for that clarification because she gives my words and opinions far too much power.
I explained it in a way that left her happy to hear that it was all good…..
And she followed it up with a few light texts in the morning before work.

I have to be patient….as I only see this as a good thing….even if it’s only about being friends….I am going to be the best damn friend I can be!
But I’m not going to pretend not to want more….and eventually and periodically ask for it, and want to talk about it