A big set-back today. Yesterday, I was feeling depressed, and didn't feel like going home. So I texted W that I was in a funk, and needed time to think and that I'd be home late.
I think this set her off thinking. When I got home she wanted to know what was wrong. I told her I just needed to be alone and think.
This morning she told me that she is not coming on our family vacation to a beach house this coming weekend. We rent it with my parents and my sister's family. I knew she didn't want to go. She doesn't want to be with my family and be scrutinized. I think my episode yesterday pushed her off the fence from going to not going. She told me she wants to visit a GF that moved 2-hours away and talk to somebody that is not me or herself. She also wants time to think, and she said she wants to finish some projects that have been sitting around for weeks now because she doesn't have the time. These are valid, but minor reasons that could easily be overcome.
I told her that we would all miss her. I validated some of what she said. The only attempt I made to convince her to come was that she could relax, she could have alone time, and she would enjoy herself. I kept it on her. I didn't try any guilt trips.
I'm mildly sad that she is not joining us. When I planned the trip in January, our sitch was much worse, and I made these plans without telling her and with a high expectation that she wouldn't come. Not until March did she bring it up that she would come. Since then, she has never mentioned the trip. I believe because she didn't want to go.
