I understand your concern about not knowing how much longer you can last. You likely have more patience, yet. That said, standing does not mean "standing still".
Would moving forward with your life require finding someone new?
You can certainly move forward as though this will be your life from this point forward and that you now work specifically on creating a better life specifically for you and your kids, whether your H joins you on that journey at some later date, or not.
How might that look, for you? What do you see your life like in a year, two years, five years... if your H was not part of the picture?
