Yesterday I came home to no kids at the house. Gave me an eerie feeling of when W started holding kids from me awhile back. I talked my self down. Went and cut the grass. She eventually txt me and told me where she was. I ended up making dinner and we actually ate outside as a family. Prime example of not letting my anxiety consume me.
Played with kids and my d(4) took her training wheels off the bike. Very cool moment.
We ended up watching the hockey game in the same room until O/T. I went upstairs but took the time to tell her that I would be getting up unusually early tomorrow to meet with a guy from my group. Only time he could do it is 6 am. Not a big fan but have to do work. She just said ok or maybe nothing if I remember.
This morning met with sponsor. It went very well. He shared his story and so many things connected with me from his story. He was very honest. No guarantees. He truly felt if I continued to do my work and worked the program with him the way he knows it works I will start to recover. He warned me as I get better that my W might get upset. Basically said strap on the seat belt. Nothing I'm not use to.. I really enjoyed the 1:1 time with him and we have a unique bond. He felt it too and felt that he could work with me. He set a boundary with me. He said no texting. I told him that was my anxiety. He said I know but if you need me call me. It was great to hear this..
After the meeting I decided to go back home. Had a few hours before I needed to make the office. W was sort of surprised. She said I thought you had a meeting. I ack'd and said yes I do it was from 6am-7. I said I had some time to kill and would put S on bus and play with D for 1 hour after. Good communication. I did feel a little uneasy at home but I got through it.
Before I left for the office I told her I took care of the pool for day not to worry and reminded her today was Thursday and I had to be out of the house at 715 for my meeting. I still haven't told her Alanon but I think she knows or gets it. I told her this because last week when I got home she forgot what day it was and I felt this way she would know well in advance. (this is 180 for me because typically I wait til last second out of fear, don't ask me why but I do. Just like last night telling her about 6 am meeting at 11 p.m)
She asked if I was going to work today or working remotely. I said I was going in after errands.
