An EE friend asked if I had told P that I forgive her. I said that seems presumptuous or arrogant. She said I need to address her shame if I want to be able to move past this and be friends.
I agree with you, friend. She didn't ask for forgiveness. It's not up to us to interpret how someone might feel (even though their behaviors are pretty indicative) and assume they want you to offer something they didn't request.
If P feels guilty, then she can join the rest of us Catholics and learn how to work through it. It means that her actions are not in synch with her beliefs and values, and it's HER problem. Not yours. And it's not your job to make her feel better about living a life not authentic to her.
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Maybe I should just leave it at doing my best to normalize relations when she reaches out.
I like this approach much better. You're good at this, too.
Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
