subguy, unless it's life or death, I wouldn't sweat it. Figure out your bottom line and let the rest go. SD has a great point, focus on what's best for D.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss