And so the piecing begins.....

[Tryin2figuritout]

Didn't realize how frustrating this piecing can get and needing to vent. We had a fantastic weekend this past weekend and had therapy on Monday that was very helpful. But it seems like the more we spend time apart (she spent the night at my house Saturday and Sunday night) the more she doubts this working out.

It's my birthday on Saturday and we're planning on going out for dinner and the kids are staying at her mom's. I feel like the closer we get to that date the more pressure she's feeling. She's the one who asked for the date as she wanted to take me out. We did break the ice on sex this past weekend so it's not that pressure although it still might impact.

She continues to talk about how she's the only one who can mess this up because she was the one who ran and asked for divorce. I think she's scared about people knowing we're trying to R because they'd continue to support me as she'd be the one who would bail. In our therapy session Monday, I brought this up because I believe it's really impacting our potential R.

In my view, we've gotten to this point and we're here. There's no reason to dweel on why we're here and only the chance to move forward. We both contributed to the demise of our marriage and now have an opportunity for a whole new relationship. We've talked about what a real blessing / opportunity this is for each of us, for us as a couple and for us as examples to our kids yet she seems to be hitting the panic button.

Just got off the phone with her and there was definitely some tension. Just feeling a little bit lost as it was so easy doing the 180, being positive, growing when not having the pressure or letting the pressure get to me. I guess it was so easy to protect yourself when there was very little to protect from when she wasn't interested in R.

Doesn't change the fact that I'm the only one who can control my reaction to my emotions. Either cower under the pressure or rise above and grow. I know what route I want to go but I realize it might be harder than before. Good news is this will continue to challenge and provide opportunities to learn / grow / discover what I'm capable of doing as a man, husband and father. Whew....glad to end that on a positive note.

Trying