Husband has one foot out the door!

[adinva]

It's not natural. I don't think there's anyone here who easily made the transition to "he's breaking up our marriage and I'm enjoying my life." It's so much more natural to be like "he's breaking up our marriage and I'm falling apart with stress and fear." Is your stress and fear the glue you expect to hold your marriage together? Is your stress and fear what you hope he will come back to and love forever? While it feels unnatural, you must choose to evolve from this, and the only way to get there is to keep yourself busy with 180s and GAL and let time go by. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Act like someone a man would be a fool to walk away from.

The best thing about this is losing the fear, but it does take time. You may have gotten in a habit of living with your H where you got lazy, took each other for granted, but stayed together because what else could you do. You get so entwined that you lose who you once were. You fear the idea of being apart, but the idea of being together isn't great either under the circumstances. The game has been changed, and you need to start really living, really being who you want to be, with or without him.

There were never any guarantees. Strokes, accidents, who knows what might have ended your marriage prematurely. You have to pick yourself up and go on fearlessly. You'll get there. The funny thing is that DB experience has shown that this personal growth might even end up enabling your H to want to reconcile. Either way it's a good thing.