Moving forward together from a mess

[cbtdad]

So what things would you need to see from your W to know she is working on the M?

I would like her to continue to see MC individually also. For her to start coming to church with me. Putting family things first before horse events.

What more can you do to work on yourself and the M?

I can continue to work on my relationship with Christ. Take more time and spend with son. Talk to wife in soothing words. Work my hardest each and everyday in my career. Eat better and work out

You indicate in your first post here that you fear you are becoming your old self again, in the M. How is that?

I have seen a couple of instances where i lose my cool. I have lot of suprressed anger from all of this and it has come out a couple of times. I also have not been spending the same amount of time with friends and seem to want to be around W constantly

What are her and your LLs?

Her LL is Acts of service. My LL is physical touch
Physical touch is something she is not natural at. She has never been a touchy feely person
I get that your head is spinning and it's obvious in your posts. The first you say that you might be making the wrong choice to stay, yet you just state that you are sure that you still love your W and have plenty of reasons to try to work things out.

How many sessions have you been with MC and what is your most recent homework?

We have only been to one session last week with MC. She saw her individually Tuesday and we are actually going to her this morning. So no assignments yet. This is all so new, we started working on this a few weeks ago

Also, try to be specific rather than general in answering, what do you really fear about R?

What I fear most is us not putting in the "real" work. Not building a solid foundation and going through something like this again. I worry we might get comfortable with each other and forget what painful experiences we both went through