Maybe this is a better place for me

[mkultra]

MM, I wish I could give you a hug. You got a degree and have a toddler at home! I am applauding you! Congratulations on your degree. I understand the associations seem grim now, but that will fade in time.

You are where I was a few years ago. Stick with the DBing! Make it your religion. It really saved me.

I understand all those triggers. What helped me was becoming transparent. I did not want to sound crazy, but verbalizing the triggers helped them fade. For example, I demanded my DJ take Stevie Wonder out of his playlists at work. I told him it reminded me too much of my ex. he laughed , but respected my wishes. Other people can relate to that pain. After 6-8 months I was able to listen to some different Stevie Wonder! I know it sounds silly.

Having the a child as a trigger is normal, too. I have two and my ex pretty much checked out while I was pregnant. But he did not officially leave until my son was two. So, I know it is hard! Five years later my son snuck into my closet, found some honeymoon photos and pinned them to his bedroom mirror.

Because of DB, I know I could have salvaged my marriage, but guess what? I ran out of love from my love bank. I moved on. It has NOT been easy, but I stayed sane and pretty happy. I'm sure you will, too.

Who knows what will happen next? But a happy partner is hard to leave. Affairs are more common than we realize and marriages have survived them for ages. I just cannot be with a cheater. I know that now. as much as I wish we could have stayed married. I have sex hang ups, I guess.

I did not take my ex back, but I met two men who were a lot worse, but they taught me a lot about myself and I had some interesting experiences.