Melting, unfortunately my answer is not M friendly.
I personally could not live like that any longer. I know WHY I stood for my M as long as I did, yet I really could not live like that. It was killing me and possibly would have been more harmful for my kids than me leaving.
I still sometimes think that I would consider R, and then I realize what I dealt with, which was boarderline abuse from my stbx. Well, that's how I'm currently stating it, although others are much more quick to label her behaviours to me as abusive.
I think I fooled myself when I asked her to M, as I thought I was equipped to deal with it all. Yet, I could not. Although I would likely still be with her. I say it's because an A is really a deal breaker, although I just realized typing this, that I could just be using that as justification to no longer stand, blaming her, when in reality, I just didn't want to be with her any more, so that seems like a good excuse to leave.
Anyhow, I'm digressing and I don't want you to think I'm suggesting you give up. I DO think that there are ways to deal with it, most importantly being clear and enforced boundaries.
Keep standing and keep working on yourself. There's no guarantee in life, yet if you feel you haven't made every effort, then don't quit, yet.
And also remember that, your next step would be LRT anyhow, if it came to that. So you'd still not be done.
