I hear you, 25....and I agree. I do resort to anger. I know. I also don't tell people that I was a jerk during the marriage and wife is not to blame. I don't. I admit that.
Yeah? Why not? Afraid of losing face? Afraid that you can't keep playing the victim? Afraid you might actually not be right?
I guess I need to dig a lot deeper than I ever realized. I honetly didn't, and still don't, think that my feelings were out of the norm. I feel like I have every right to be angry. Apparently I am wrong in my thinking. I just have to retrain my brain to think and accept things differently, I guess.
Could you be any more condescending here? Personally, I think you were playing the role of a martyr here. "Oh, woe is me! My wife took total advantage of me! How dare she treat me this way?!?!?"
in regards to "things that were pressure before, are not now". That is something I have never heard a WORD about. Nobody every told me such a thing. I missed that memo. I thought DBing was staying on a straight course. I didn't realize that I could invite myself along at this point. My gut feeling would tell me the complete oposite. I just get so confused by this whole process. I am completely lost as what to do, how to think, what to accept, when to stand my ground when to be passive. I'm just clueless on how to proceed.
I don't intentionally try to manipulate you others into agreeing with my view. I just feel that some things that are said to me is taken out of context, so I elaborate with more detail. I'm not THAT bullheaded. I am just not sure that everyone has clear picture, because some of the things that are pointed out to me seem to be so far off base from my own feelings.
I call BS on this one. You are trying to manipulate us into thinking your way. Time and time again I have read where you keep coming back to re-explain something that happened to slant things towards your side. You are that bullheaded to me. You seem to have this need to be right, vindicated, correct,righteous... Why is that?
Seriously, SP... You talk it but you don't walk it.
My sister was bashing my wife one night. I told her that I could appreciate her having an opinion but she was still talking about my wife and I would appreciate she not talk about her in that manner.
My friend was doing the same thing... told him to back off.
I told both of them that I was just as much to blame, if not more so, to the demise of the marriage.
You need to throw that scorecard away. I did that. No, it is not easy. It is too easy to slide back into old destructive habits because they are comfortable... they are familiar...
Yes, you need to retrain your brain. It might take some help to do that.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
