DBing European style, part 3

[Papa4Life]

i think... I know...that the hardest part of DBing has been trying to squash the urge to let my W know how much she means to me and how much I dearly wish to fix our M. backing off the way I have has left me watching from the sidelines as she marches toward a D and perhaps a life with OM. or at least without me.

I believe it when they say that this is your best and only hope of getting your S to reconsider. But the thing is, I'm a feeling man. I'm not inured to the sense of loss and regret and I have trouble compartmentalizing those emotions. and while I still have the urge to fight, many if not most of you would tell me to back off and do nothing. But withdrawing was one of the negative traits that got me into this sitch, and when she couldn't get the respect and admiration she wanted from me (or the expression of admiration, since I've certainly always felt it), she found it from an old guy at work who admitted to having trouble in his own M.

Why am I back at this place again? I thought having a break and a nice vacation to the family back home would steel me for the final stretch of the mad careering towards our D. Instead I miss my W more than ever. When will it end?

sad today...again