My world got turned upside down

[Limbowife]

Hi Linda! H stopped over tonight and one of the first things H mentioned was the kids didn't tell me Happy Fathers Day yesterday. Whaaat? Did you really just say that?? I just looked at him and said they are old enough to decide what they say and how they feel and they are both really hurting. Is he really that dumb and selfish to even question their actions??? Oh wait...yes he is. He just looked down and said well yeah...

I so wish I knew what was in his head and what he is thinking. H was working in the garage for a bit and he came in and said hear that noise?? That is my tummy rumbling. And you want me to do what about it?? Thought it, didn't let it out of my mouth. H asked if I wanted to go to Subway. I love Subway and he doesn't like it. I said I wasn't hungry--okay I was really starving but didn't tell him that. H back to the garage. Texts me-- yes from the garage-lets go eat he is starving now. I caved- remember I love Subway. I know I am weak. So we ended up going to eat and for a ride. I am so confused. No R talk . Just normal stuff like kids and money. If there can be normal stuff given the situation he has put us in.

When he texts me it is usually not personal. It is more like H is seeking maybe comfort?? I am not sure exactly. H feels bad, what should he do, just dumb stuff. But he always manages to get in whether in person or texts that he isn't moving back and he ALWAYS says,well you know we ARE separated. Noooo, really?? H makes my brain hurt along with my heart and soul.

I hope everyone has a good night. Going to do some reading and catch up on your sitches.

[lovethehub]

Limbo,

Have you posted in MLC? It feels like you are too accessible but everything is different with MLC than it is w/WAW. I read you posts but I don't feel I can comment, I have no MLC knowledge. As a matter of fact, this morning I started worrying about what would happen if H has one in a few years when we finally get all of this worked out!!

Is it normal that I want to track JW down and smash her face in?? I never would but I think about how good it would feel. Then I think back to what others have said that this will fizzle out between them. I just wish H could see himself or hear himself.

I know this is from last week but I laughed when I read it. I think it is normal. When I found out my ex was having an A, I wanted to go kick the sh*t out of OW. The only thing that stopped me was not wanting to have to associate my first pregnancy with getting arrested for the rest of my life


You are doing awesome with your kids. Regardless of the outcome, they will always remember that you handled this with strength, dignity and grace. They will have even more respect for you than they did.

[BrightFuture]

Limbo, your H is behaving like a teenager, maybe like 12-13 yo. No wonder your “brain hurt”. Don’t expect any R talk. He is confused too. It looks like he is trying to figure it out. This is why you get these “normal stuff” feeling. He is trying to live in two worlds right now. Boy, this must be hard (for him too.)

I can only give you one advice here, continue to be friendly, if you can handle it. Pretend that nothing bothers you and you are living your life.

(((((hugs)))))

[Limbowife]

Hi lovethehub. Thanks for stopping by and the very kind words. Glad you got a laugh. That is pretty funny your reasoning for not kicking her a$$. Not something you want to tell your child later. What stops me is not having the money to get myself out of jail I am so concerned about my kids and your words really made me feel better.

Hi Bright. I am doing the best I can to be nice but my brain is just so confused. I need to work on not letting him know stuff bothers me tho. Thanks for the hugs. I really needed them tonight. Kinda feel like I am heading into my dark place...not good. Have a good night my friend

[BrightFuture]

Limbo, how are you doing today?

[RosaLinda]

Thanks for visiting me, and for your encouragement! Did you write out your GAL list yet Limbo? I' lm going to print mine out so I can cross things off too!

PS Did your H pay the mortgage yet? And....if you get thrown in jail we'll take up a collection for bail LOL.

[RosaLinda]

Thanks for visiting me, and for your encouragement! Did you write out your GAL list yet Limbo? I' lm going to print mine out so I can cross things off too!

PS Did your H pay the mortgage yet? And....if you get thrown in jail we'll take up a collection for bail LOL.

[Limbowife]

Hi ladies. Thanks for checking in on me. Having a rough time right now. Just when I think I am getting a handle on the crying I realize nope, not yet. It has been a very weepy day today. The thoughts of H and JW have settled in my brain and I can't get past it right now.

I think of all the emotional support and I love you's that JW is getting and my heart just aches. I knew H had checked out last fall and I kept thinking what am I doing wrong that H won't pay attention to me?? Now i know H was with JW. And then I start beating myself up because I am so desperate for any scraps H has left. And then when I see glimpses of the non-idiot, not stupid head version of H, I think okay I can do this.

What to do ,what to do... Keep standing and hope and pray that he gets thru the tunnel or bail like he did and no looking back. Who am I kidding?? I could never be like H in that respect. H has told me time and time again he will NOT give up JW. I refuse to have an open marriage with JW. And I know not to press right now for anything because H will choose JW . I hate this sooo much.

Thanks Linda for the offer of a collection for bail money. Right now I just want to smack them both upside their heads and somebody is gonna lose some teeth...

Son and I took a walk and it was nice but we both got so hot we decided to finish after the sun goes down. I am going to go work on my GAL list and find something to clean. Not that there is any lack of things to clean around here.

As far the mortgage we are working on a loan modification to get things straightened out. I pray that it will go through.

Maybe I will start another post. Not sure how to do it but it will keep me busy trying to figure it out

Thanks so m uh for caring about me. It means ao much to know I am not alone.

[TryingToDo180]

Thanks for responding Kaffe Diem. I just got Divorce Remedy and plan to read it plus I have been all over this site trying to make some sense of this chaos that is now my life. He started telling me in January I am not happy, care what happens to you but not don't love you,stayed until the kids were older blah,blah,blah. I noticed in late fall he just didn't want to be involved in much at all. Talked with him and he said he was depressed. Then in January he said he was unhappy. We tried to work on some things and I thought things were getting better. Then on March 1 he just didn't come home. I feel like I have been blindsided. I thought our M was pretty good. We had ups and downs of course but we have always been able to work thru things. Now he is saying all the hurtful things like oh I have wanted to leave for years, how could you not see it, etc. I know I have things to work on to be a better wife but now all he says is I am done. My heart is broken and I am trying so hard to keep from falling apart. Ever thing I have been reading here is so weird because it like it was written about him. This site is amazing and I have learned a lot already. Like learn to keep my mouth shut even when I want to scream my head off at him and demand to know what he did with my real husband! Thanks for reading this far as I am rambling.

Sounds almost identical to the situation I'm going through with my H. He left me 2 months ago and is now planning to file for divorce. I've read DB and I've just ordered DR. Although DB is good, I'm hoping that DR is even better I need to find some answers and fast as he plan to go to the solicitors next month. I did start a new thread asking for advice but so far no-one has replied! I've been doing 180 for about 2 weeks and he has noticed. Time will tell, I'm not very patient at the best of times, lol.

[TryingToDo180]

Then all of a sudden it is like a switch flips somewhere in his brain and he can't get out of here fast enough. It is like I can almost actually see it switch. Has anyone ever seen this happen and what exactly is it? I am just so confused right now.

Yes I know what you mean, my H is exactly the same! One minute he'll be acting like nothing is wrong and the next minute he starts acting cold towards me!