Do I believe your M can be saved? Of course it can. Is it going to be easy? Of course not. Once you go back and actually read what was posted, you'll learn and know how to move forward.
MrBond, I apologize for my outbursts. I'm just really stressed out and it seemed like you were coming down on me. It felt like you were saying it was all my fault and that I deserve this. I really do own my bad behavior in marriage, and I understand that it was a factor in her seeking a divorce.
My therapist thinks I am too hard on myself and taking too much blame, so I am trying to balance his advice and the advice of people like yourself.
I have a hard time understanding her thought process in this and I am beyond frustrated that she doesn't want to communicate. When she initially left she talked about wanting to be friends, and the whole standard WAW speech. Early on, she even suggested she move back in with me at the townhouse "just as friends until we can get our finances in order."
Now, I'm the most awful person in the world and she wants nothing to do with me. I've seen her do it before with her gal friends, but I don't understand why she does it.
My last conversation with my FiL back in February, he basically told me it's hopeless and that I should move on. I know he is doing mindreading of his own, but it still sticks with me.
We're now trying to negotiate the settlement, and she has pretty unrealistic expectations. I know she thinks I'm trying to be punitive, but I'm just trying to be fair and keep what is mine.
It is hard to remain hopeful and I don't know what I can do except continue to GAL and focus on myself.
