Dont know what to do...

[Cianna]

Bad day... Can't stop missing him... Days like today I just want to curl up and die...

[Cianna]

Im wondering how this is going to work, if I dont see him or talk to him for days at a time??

I texted him twice over the weekend.. We had a blackout, I felt he should know. Turns out it was actually a city wide blackout.

Then I texted him to wish him a Happy Fathers Day, he raised my two children as his own.

Other than that, we have had ZERO contact. He is at the GFs now 100% of the time, but still maintaining this is his residence. Im letting the attorneys handle the court stuff, bank stuff, etc.

[~ kd ~]

Well, I'd guess that there might be an amount of time that he's actually physically residing at another location when that location would be legally considered his primary residence. Not sure if that would matter in the courts. In his mind... we'll, he'll think what ever he wants.

Keep doing what you are doing. NP with sending him HFD wishes or texting notification of the blackout. So long as it was strictly informative and had no expectations attached.

Pursuit is unlikely to work, based on your description of his behaviours. Unless he wants to engage you in comm, he won't.

Also, even considering the context of your open M, most M recoveries do not begin while there is an OP. Considering you believe that he is currently in a mono R with GF, that rule of thumb probably holds in your sitch.

Keep doing what you are doing. Continue to GAL and 180 where you can on what's valid and keep working on your own personal growth as you can.

[Cianna]

Thanks Kaffe.. There's the issue of when the OR is ended... It has to be TOTALLY his idea and desire or he will simply feel manipulated. What's on my side in that regard is she is a known cheater and manipulator. If she holds true to form, he will dump her.

I've joined a bunch of local groups.. The upside; should get me out more... The downside.. Our town is SO SMALL that word will get back to him pretty quick, and it will be in the form of rumors that Im dating. I consider myself married, in a het mono relationship.. I guess I cross that bridge when I come to it...

One of my 180s is taking off my rings. I always said I was never going to do that because I don't want the divorce.. They are fairly sizeable diamonds, and worked as "animal control" when I was out. Had to give up that security blanket to really detach and live "as if".. Odd being "single" yet not after being married for so long...