T my W has stated to me "you feel more like my Dad then my husband"
interestingly enough her dad moved away when she 9 and never came home
Consider this. When a MLCer / WAS states something like that in bold, italics...
They are not necessarily specifically saying their spouse is acting like their parent, although they could be.
Rather, they might simply be stating how they feel their spouse is acting like how they (the MLCer / WAS) would expect a parent to act, yet not actually have any bearing on the actual actions or words of the spouse being criticised. Subjective not objective.
What I mean by that is, if your W said, "Like my dad, you are telling me I can't go out tonight until I've finished my homework / housework" it would be relevant and valid vs "I thought my dad was mean to me and I think YOU are mean to me as though you are trying to tell me what I can and can not do, even though as an adult I don't need your permission so have no need to feel that way... yet I feel that way... so I understand that I am creating a self imposed paradigm on no specific thing you are actually doing or saying to me"
